Monday, 31 August 2015

Keep your senses sharp

My observation skills are sharpening again. Tenacious, hungry.
Yet the wider the doors of perception the more often one has to play dumb as in not to startle too much the world around us. And one needs the world to observe. To truly see.
Life is good from this side. Deliciously, exhilaratingly strange. Infinitely more interesting. It's good to be back.

Be amazed at all times.

Mood swings of a creative mind

One day:
Bad day today. Felt impotent, frustrated, excruciatingly dumb. What was wrong with me? I have to stay calm, don't undermine myself, don't recriminate, don't be too harsh on myself. That maybe the whole new move has taken more out of me than all the other moves combined. Maybe because I finally see a future and consequently, a future that's bound to bring risks with it. For the future has never felt this real. The foreseen of a settled life is much scarier than the unknown that carries on in any nomad life. But I'm ready. I am. I have never been this ready.
Calm down, Penelope. The first and most important step has been made. The rest will follow when time is right. Just you wait. Breathe, girl. Life is smiling.

The day after:
Wonderful day today. What a difference from yesterday. I was on a roll today. So much so that after my in-the-zone time I was pretty exhausted but what an intoxicating feeling it is. So good when your creative juices feel this high. 

"To be perfectly honest"

Don't say "To be perfectly honest". Just be it. And what's with the "perfectly"? Either you are honest or you're not, there's no middle ground here.

Yeah, we all know it's just an expression. It is very interesting to dissect it though.

To curse or not to curse

"People Who Curse All The Time Are Hotter, Confident And Less Stressed." - in some populist tabloid

The first time I said a curse word was on my 9th grade and only whispered as to see how it would sound. Such articles are bollocks. I'm cursing now more than ever and definitely not because I'm more confident, hotter, stress free or whatever. It just means life got into you and you let it. To be confident, to be 'hot' is not to have the need of cursing words to prove anything. I miss those days and I will fucking do any fucking thing to get that fucking back.

Destiny

Those who believe in destiny could you please explain me why? I mean, a real understandable explanation. For if everything is destined, to be, to happen - how do you explain cause and effect? How do you explain a change of course, a forgetting the wallet at home, a taking a shortcut, changing the mind at the last second. How can you possible believe in destiny? Is it all predicted? No matter what you do?

Probity

Probity. Stupid word, more stupid its definition. What does it bring you but pain and sorrow? Values are for fools. How I wish I could be a selfish ruthless bastard. Stupid heart.

Karma is for losers

There's no such thing as karma.
Just look at the world, one glimpse is enough to see the obvious.
It's our conscience we should care about. It's the only thing that distinguishes us as beings. And to know that none of us is perfect. Don't be too proud to apologize when you error, say when you're sorry and know that there are never too many thank yous.
Be your better self, one day at a time. For your conscience. Because at the end, it is all you got. No pseudo karma points in the world will ever save you from yourself.